What chapter are you in?

September 2025

We all have a story. Like books, our lives have a beginning, a middle, and an ongoing ending with all the nuance of living in between.

Yet the chapters of our story are unlike anyone else's.  If we are honest, there are chapters full of pain, sorrow, guilt, and sadness, and chapters full of happiness, love, and unexpected gifts of grace.                                  

None of us really know another's life, what they have been through, navigated, or experienced.  I recall the wise saying,  “Do not judge someone by the chapter of their life that you walk into.”  If we are not careful with our assumptions, we judge others at our peril. Not only does it give us a distorted opinion, but it can also jeopardize the relationship.

I have many examples where I jumped to conclusions.   At a formal business leaders’ dinner with a thousand people I started introducing myself to people at the table. I began to chat with the gentleman next to me assuming he was a business leader. During the meal, he asked the waiter for a second steak. Out of curiosity I asked him why?   He said it was because he was just released from prison after serving 20 years for murder. Steak was seldom served there. Then there was the time that I offered advice to a new step-parent in our local Little League program — only to discover later that his parents owned the Boston Red Sox.

Solomon, in the  Proverbs, warns us, “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.”  Poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “If you could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life story and suffering enough to disarm all hostility”  

Jesus modeled this.  He was walking through a crowd when a sick woman who had been sick for 12 years touched his garment in hopes of being healed.  He asked who touched him. “The woman knew what had happened to her. So she came trembling with fear and knelt down in front of Jesus. Then she told him her whole story. Jesus said to the woman,   “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.  (Mark 5:33-34, CEV).

Jesus heard the woman’s story, had compassion and healed her. Let us model Jesus when we hear each other's stories from previous or current chapters in their lives. Who knows, by God’s grace we may participate in healing someone’s secret story.

Blessings,

Tom